Samsung Galaxy S7 Smartphone Review By a Bad Boy Magazine Writer I am a big magazine boy with many important things to say about the Samsung Galaxy S7 smartphone, but the most important thing you should know about me is this: I have done Bad Things.The Samsung Galaxy S7 smartphone is thick, like that student in my Undergraduate Writing Seminar, the one from two years ago. She—the phone—is also stunning; her sharp angles like the razor cheekbones on the last girl I tried to save, will always be trying to save. Sometimes I dream about what could have been, if I’d only gotten there sooner, before she reached her late-twenties.But I digress; this phone will never betray me by aging.It’s true—this is an essay about a smartphone. But there’s another, more pressing issue driving this review: Myself. For I contain multitudes you couldn’t possibly understand—just look at the Bad Things I’ve done.

I won’t address them directly, though I’ll allude to them, by way of reference to a woman I once loved who ruined me, making me the Bad Boy I am today. Everything I am, everything I’ve done—lying, cheating, masturbating to my own byline, I did for her. She was beautiful, with large breasts and a pulse. But in the end, I wasn’t enough for her, or perhaps she wasn’t enough for me—no one ever is. If you’re not a big magazine boy reviewing the Samsung Galaxy S7 smartphone, you wouldn’t understand.

There’s a word that comes up in old country songs: “Hey.” And that was how I felt when she and I parted ways. “Hey,” the world called out to me. “Hey,” I called out to the world, mostly via Twitter DMs. “Hey,” my mom texted me on the Samsung Galaxy S7 smartphone I’m reviewing. I didn’t respond to her using the smartphone’s 4G capabilities, because I have more important things to do.
This phone